To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!

QUICK NEWS!!!:

- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

sweet!!!

up to 116!!!! :D
 went to the spaghetti factory last night and ate as much as i could fit in my tummy! then woke up this morning and had a huge breakfast with the family.  :)

im excited, im hoping to gain 2 more pounds before my weight in on monday at program.  im still sick but im just forcing as much of the daily cals down my throat as i can.

i did have a bit of trouble at the restaurant last night. my whole family came, like cousins from outta town and my dad and step mom picked me and my sister up and we went with my in town fam and the toronto fam.  13 people at one table.  i dont know i jsut had a lot of bad thoughts about that i ate so much and everyone was thinking that about me.... i called up KD and he talked me down. but he still thinks its stupid that i even have bad thoughts still..... i know he is trying to help me but he doesnt get it that its a log process and that i've been trying to rush it for him... i'm starting to get worried that i rushed through recovery too quick and its gonna catch up with me later....

i guess only way to see is to wait.  for now im jsut happy he is there to help me. and my dad and step mom are very supportive. my mother is not but eh, she tries her best..... :S

3 comments:

Dani said...

im so happy that ur doing well hun

pixistix14 said...

You and KD will make it through the rough spots..you just have to be positive.. I mean look how far you've come! you're eating and its a good thing! I'm jealous I love pasta!
xoxox

SetKatieFree said...

Don't worry, it's normal especially after getting out of day treatment because your not monitored all the time. I'm starting to notice bad thoughts and feelings that come up and I become really confused. Right now I just listen to Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper" and keep thinking in my head that you can't try and diet or eat a small amount for the rest of your life, because your metabolism will slow down and your body will plateau itself somewhere. Plus, you and I both know that "skinny" doesn't look good. And.. I put " " on the word skinny because everyone has a different idea of what skinny is and that's why this disease makes us feel like we are never "skinny" enough.

Stay strong.
-Katie