To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

maybe i will survive!

wow u guys are smart!
deff i dont want any potatos! but see i hate everything... like idk wat i hate until someone says it...
bananas, potatos and.... red meat.

goal is to gain muscle instead of fat.... thats healthy! right? so ill eat w/e they want me too b/c ill purge it all when i get home (yeah i know my body has already taken the cals but i dont even want the physical food in me!) then work out with yoga and with bf at gym everyday! bike everywhere once winter is over and no movies or stupid sitting dares, ACTIVE!!!!!  i got another meeting tomorrow, idk wat its about but i keep getting closer and closer to the day they put me in there.... i havent told any of my friend i'm even leaving the school... i keep making plans with them and thinking 'will i eve be here' but really i doubt anyone is gonna notice im not there, no one ever notices when i dont show.  i just want to graduate this year, thats all i care about...

3 months with KD <3
love him to bits! he is a stick and eats nothing all day but coffee and smokes! when im with him he doesnt bug me to eat or anything im never hungry with him b/c u dont even think about food! i cant wait till i move in with him!

and thank u kissa but i know he loves the skinny girls and really.. i swear he isnt THAT much bigger then me! maybe ill post a pick of us both when i get one that shows us from head to toe or something.....   i just wanna be small enough that he can lift me with one arm, and i want him to love having me on top of him..... i want himto run his fingers over the outlines of my bones and tell me im beautiful and tell me im perfect!


Starving Artist said...

Oh my god, that is EXACTLY how I feel with matt, he doesn't bug me about it, he doesn't usually eat much and I just don't really think about food around him unless someone offers me food and when I know he's next to me I don't want him seeing me shovel food in so I can say no sooo much easier! I love that picture of us both being skinny and perfect together, I don't wanna be fatter than my boy though so I just have to get my bmi lower than his, he's underweight!
SUCH great motivation to have a skinny boy <3<3

Dani said...

im awalsy thinking about foo daround my boy he likes food and real food unlike me who hates food and if had the choice id have junk instead of meat
good 2 choices there hun