To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

i feel less alone with you all

im glad u guys are up for hearing about recovery, who knows, it might even work :P
eh im trying, i do want to be normal... just not fat....
btw they do not let u be vegetarian or vegan.
only allergies are wat they will let u not eat, but u do get to pick 3 foods u dont want to eat
3 and only 3
idk wat to pick!!! GIVE ME IDEAS!!!! HELP!!!! :(
and u cant exercise.. like of course i've upped doing yoga every second of the day i can, but no going to the gym , no sports and while ur there u can only do the exercise they let u and when they think its ok for u

there are so many rules and shit! i'm making a page just for the papers they give me :P

me and KD are good, he bought me a teddy the other day for v-day (better late then never!)
i had the house to myself yesterday so i invited him over and i decided that i was gonna finally show him ALL of me.... we were cuddling together after under the covers and i asked him if i was the largest girl he's been wit and been sexually attracted too (b/c i know he doesnt like fat chicks!) and he said yeah that im the biggest so far and so now it my goal to be the biggest at first but before we break up i WILL be the smallest!

gonna get him into doing yoga wit me and he says he wants to take me to the gym and work me out! he wants to get me into such good shape! and that way if i go with him the rents wont know im exercising! and i can say i was jsut at his house :P -- come back all sweaty and tired ;)  --

imma work on that page atm, nothing really to update..

--- i want to be healthy, i want to be normal, i want to be able to go through my day and not worry about wat other people see when they look at me -- i want a future with my love, not with my disease --


Dani said...

wow i would never b able to to that kind of treament cause i hate so many foods and im not allergic to most of them ijust dont like them
hmm 3 things mayb do like red meat as one thats what i would do cause i hate it
um mayb like bread and idk hm a third pick ur nost hated food
good luck hun

Kissa said...

I have no idea how you're the biggest girl he has ever been with. Your tiny honey. Unless the other girls were five.. lol. Your beautiful. I hope you survive through the fuckedup treatment. I really wish someone who had dealed with an ed would start a treatment program or something.. cos it'd prolly be alot more understanding. Good luck!

Layla said...

Well done for having a positive view on recovery! that's the first steppp!!!

If I had to pick 3 foods it would be tomatoes, mushrooms, and uhmm, onions or something..
is that what they mean by food? ;p
I'm such a picky eater...

just pick 2 things you absolutely hate and never eat, and the 3rd a carbohydrate, like pasta, rice, bread, potatoes or something.
So you don't feel like you're gaining too fast.
good luck honey!!!

anna~ said...

well for my 3 things (i only was allowed 2 when i was in IP) i picked cream (of any kind) and bananas, because they gave us a heap of fruit, and 110cals for a banana when you can have a lesser calorie fruit is just isn't worth it. For the third thing, i agree with Layla, if you're allowed to, choose something like potatoes.
good luck and do your best!!
We're behind you all the way! <3