To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Today I failed, hard! I ate sooooo much!!!! Probably like well over 1,500 cal! OMFG!!!!
That is THREE days worth of calories!!! I’m now gonna have to fast all weekend.  Friday – Sunday night, no food or anything but water.  After school I work then I’m gonna go to bed probably, then work out all day Saturday if possible then all day Sunday too if possible!  I did have plans with friends but this is more important! I NEED to lose this weight! no wait I’m supposed to say that I ‘want’ to not that I ‘have’ to :P.  So ridiculous.  I can’t even weight myself!  I get my pay check tomorrow, 50$ goes to my special friend ;) and then I still need to save up 420$..... My pay check might be about 100$.... TOPS!   Man I’m fucked. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.... I need to lose 15 pounds by the end of the month. That is my goal, how hard could it be??? I’ll start dance and when I’m not working i'll be working out. No more drinking, no getting high (just makes u want food), just smoking and lines.  No food. Food does not control me, it doesn’t own me. I own it, I decide what to eat, when to eat and if I even want to eat.  It has no power over me! And when I’m thin i'll be able to walk into any room and be noticed as the most beautiful girl in the room. Guy won’t be able to ignore me then.

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