To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

holidays :(

Ok so i made it through the dinner last night by telling everyone i ate more then i did, being super sneaky! which wasn't easy at all!!!!!

i hate being watched its making everything so much harder! and today i had to eat! this is terrible! i had to go to a lunch (no choice!) and they fed me! like wouldn't leave me alone, watched me take every bite!  i ate approximately 1,000 cal!!!!! worst part is even though i came home right after, i'm being watched here too so i cant even throw up!!!
i don't know what i'm gonna do for the dinner i have in an hour!!!
i am sitting at the kids table (oh what joy) so i think i can get away with sneaking my food into the kitchen and throwing it out.

once tonight is over then the rest of the month there arent anymore worries! just make it through today and ill be home free!!!
i got 8.5 hours of work tomorrow so that will burn about 600 cal

i need to find a form of exercise that will burn about 3,000 cal that i can do everyday........... got any suggestions??????

i hate this i'm still waiting for some support but ill wait forever if i have to!

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