To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Friday, September 3, 2010

how to start...

Ok so i started this blog b/c i need some support.  i have been struggling with my weight my whole life.  i used to be on Ritalin and it made me eat NOTHING and i miss it.  once i started my new pills i have gained over 30 pounds.  i was vegetarian for 3 years and that kept my weight around 100 pounds.  i hate how i look in the mirror, and how i can feel my fat flop around when i walk.
since June 10th i have been on a STRICT diet of less then 500 cal a day.  I've lost 5 pounds but i need more!
my goal is 88 lb, that was my happiest weight. if anything i just want to get back down to 100. i need it, i cant be happy till i am.
I've been keeping a food journal and writing all my thoughts and stuff in there since now, now this is my journal.  hopefully i can get some support from the web! plus ill be posting pics of the people in my life that i envy. my own personal thinspo :)

ill keep you updated although mostly with measurement and not my weight.  my parents have locked up the scale b/c they worry about me, i don't get why, I'm not losing weight! they should be proud that i am trying anyways, everyone in my family is so fat! i will NOT end up like them!!!!

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