To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!

QUICK NEWS!!!:

- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Friday, November 12, 2010

side effects may include lack of appetite?

i dont know what it is but since i started the ABC diet (2 days ago) i've actually been under my daily allowance! yesterday i was allowed 500 cals but i only ate 230 (most of that was coffee) and walked around the mall for 4 hours so i burned in total all day like 1,000 cals with all the other exercise i did :P

i swear this site is g-d sent! no more having to memorize what number i'm at (i can memorize the number of each food but i suck and remembering wat number im at today vs. the number from the day before and all the other numbers in my head!) plus u can track ur exercise and it calculates it all for u! and organizes it all into suck pretty charts and graphs! (i love charts and graphs and being organized with information!)
seriously check out this site! http://www.livestrong.com/myplate

i am feeling a lot less hungry since i had sex with chef, but that was also the day i started my new dosage of my happy pills... idk which one is making me happy :S

i swear i could fall in love with chef, like legit love.... im getting older and everyone in my family gets married pretty young.... who knows but im trying to be good.

i broke it with mr. funny guy, 100% we are through! no more communication!

i told trainer guy that he could have his 300$ or our friendship, he chose our friendship but then started yelling at me and treating me like shit b/c of wat happened and so im gonna call him today and tell him that its his last choice, money or me? and if he picks me that he has to treat me with respect! i dont deserve his rudeness!!

i weighed myself to day and im at 108.0!!!! on the dot eh? wat a pretty number :)

i have decided im giving up coke, i gotta, im gonna stay home today and research as much as possible but ill also tell my therapist... maybe... i dont want her telling my parents b/c they will actually murder me!

i should probably take my ADD pills before i post b/c i never have a nice order to my thoughts.... well too late now! i've already started :P

oh btw i gots a new follower today :) HEY YOU!!!!! :D!!!!!

lols, ok so today is 300 cals and i bet at least half of that will be coffee..... wish me luck not on my calorie goal... but on quitting coke... i really have no clue wat im doing with my life anymore........ but i do know i want to be pure, pure from drugs, alcohol and the toxic poison we are fed everyday!

3 comments:

bonesarepure said...

yes no more drugs for u lil lady im sure it will b hard to quit but just take it one day at a time thats all u can do and u should prob seak out professinaly help for it dont want u to have crazy withdrawal symptoms or nuttin

my thoughts are always all over the place so ur not alonme there at lease u got pills for it and happy pills go di really need some of those

and ur right u deserve to b rtreated with respect so kick hes ass if he doesnt

im ahppy for u and chef hun he sounds amazing and good influenceon u
stay stron glove u crazy

Mich said...

Right on being pure. I try my best, but I can't quite kick everything, so imma try to do the quitting one thing at a time. Alcohol is at the top of that list. And junk food. And people who are not worth my time!
Trainer guy definitely needs sorting out*.
Chef sounds awesome. And I think it's ok to fall in love. You only live once--you should fall in love as often as you can! ;)
xoxo

Isla Lynn said...

You are so lovely! I love reading your posts! And I finally, just now, am following you. Took long enough!

I am so happy you're on the ABC diet and are loving. I need to try it out one of these days. I always hear it's fantastic. And 108 is a beautiful number, someday I'll get down to 108, too! You're only three inches taller than me, so our weights are somewhat similar. I just hate sharing them so publicly sometimes.

You had sex with Chef? I hope you used protection! And, I hope you had a good time. He sounds like a good guy. I wish you'd write more about him!

I love you, sweetheart! Stay strong, and smiling.