To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!

QUICK NEWS!!!:

- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Monday, October 18, 2010

balling out tears..............

My stomach is killing me! Its rumbling and making ridiculous noises and hurting :’(
I do this every week and every week i come back crying! I hate ballet! I am the fattest one in the class and i am not graceful or co-ordinated or even have the memory to remember half the steps!

class today was such a fail that i actually almost walked out at the last bit. I hate it!
I walked to and from the movie and ended up having a hand full of popcorn and that is it. Then biked to and from dance and that took about and hour in total. I burnt a lot of calories today and so im hoping that will make me feel a bit better when i see the scale tomorrow morning. I actually cant handle the sounds of my tummy so i might go chug like 2 glasses of water. I actually have to do that now or i might hurl!

{pause}

BLEH MY TUMMY HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOMMYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahah lols jk no one is home, but i did eat b/c after i drank the two glasses i felt such terrible pain (like giving birth JUST KIDDING!!!) that i couldn’t handle getting up, if my parents were home i would have been screwed. Soo i ate a bit, still under 500 cals so i shouldn’t feel so bad but b/c its late in the day (10pm) i took a bunch of lax and will be skipping school tomorrow (wasnt gonna go anyways)

Im dying for some sleep so ill update the weight tomorrow, my tummy still hurts and if this pain doesn’t go away then i don’t know what im going to do............

2 comments:

Almost.Skinny said...

Hope your tum feels better soon! sleep tight xxx

Isla Lynn said...

Reading this post I swear I can feel your pain. It's almost making me tear up. Get some sleep. It doesn't hurt when you're somewhere beautiful in lala land. Hah, that's my nick name. Noah calles me Lala all the time.

Anyways, that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard. Get to your goal weight and then you can have you're man or date. Brian has started to come around and I feel like we'll be back together for Christmas time. That's a perfect time to put in a goal of 10 pounds. Only, holidays absolutely always suck for me. I end up gaining a good lot every single year.

I want to know about these boys!