To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!


- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Friday, October 29, 2010

all ya need is love...

na na na na na <3

ok so im down under 110 now, but im not gonna make it to 100 before halloween... which means i cant go out and i dont get to wear my costume.  i put it on today just to look at myself and deal with the fact that i fail myself.  it was a fun hour of crying and yelling at myself.

i want to give a HUGE thank u to the amazing girls who posted on my last post. with their hearts they have always known how to make me feel better. i want u guys to knwo that ur amazing and i love u <3

i read everyones blog but having a writers block so i havent commented, jsut know that im always keeping updated, just not sure wat to say other then i love u, but i felt that was too lame to post to everyone :P

i was gonna eat today, im gonna try to get into some habit of eating, and figuring out on my own how to be ok with it. purging is no longer an option, last time there was blood and i have to learn to handle myself!

i will deal with this, but on my own terms i guess.... my scale was a bad buy,,,, its haunting me now.  i think im going insane because i swear to g-d that its talking to me while im sleeping.

btw i had a weird dream last night and many of u guys were in it, like the blogs i've read. i cant really remember what happened but we were all there and talking, at like the mall or something. i remember we were looking at jeans and u guys all wanted to get a size 0 or 00 but i had to pick out a size 7 or something. weird i know :P but hey, u guys all looked amazing! so there is a plus :P

mr. funny guy and i might be legit soon, like exclusive.  i want to be happy for him, i want to be pure for him, i want to be perfect for him.  and will be.....

tomorrow ill eat, ill sit down and eat a nice meal, not binging just a real meal and ill be full and not sick after.  that is my plan. and i will succeed.
g'night, maybe tomorrow ill have better comments for everyones blogs k!

-happiness <3

1 comment:

Starving Artist said...

Oh what a funny dream, I wish we could all go hang at the mall together or something..

be careful with that meal too, if you've gone too long without eating much and then try to eat a 'normal' meal all at once... it really doesn't feel good
I've done it >.<
just don't want that to blow up on you
good luck sweetie <3