To whom it may concern....

dont be stupid! who the hell WANTS an eating disorder??? I went through 3 months of day treatment at the hospital and i was there for the least amount of time i could. I am now fighting every day to live! dont be stupid, love ur body before its too late!

QUICK NEWS!!!:

- me and KD are still together, over 7 months and we are going really good
- im out of treatment and trying my best to give myself a future!
- this blog is now 100% about recovery and if u ever want to say anything or ask anything have no fear! u will never be yelled at for ur thoughts!

Monday, October 18, 2010

something is wrong....

ok so im a logical thinker and for some reason this just isnt making sense..... my measurements havent changed but im down the pant size right???? like the 7s are too big and the 3s fit nicely..... you would assume that my thighs or ASS would have to have shrunk.....

todays measurements:
- chest 32''
- waste 24.5''
- tummy 31.5''
- ass 35''
- thigh 21.5''

no real difference......
idk measurements dont mean much to me, its about what i fit into (size 1s here i come!) and what i weigh...

speaking of which my weighing only in the am and after a binge/purge isnt really working... weighed myself 4 times today and the only thing ive had was water and a 10 cal vitamin water :P (btw they taste NASTY!)

im trying to take my morning pills still but its getting harder, see the ones im on now u cant take on an empty stomach and liquids dont count. they make u nauseous and mess with ur body tempt. today in class i almost died i swear, i was sweating and pale and dizzy and sick. bleh, but the food isnt worth it.... why eat when im not hungry when i dont eat when i am? that makes no sense

couldnt bike today b/c its TOO cold, buying a winter jacket soon.... winter here last about 10 months so idk what im gonna do.... usually i jsut dont exercise or eat and i end up losing weight just on my own.... ill bike to and from dance tonight b/c that is like a 45 min bike ride one direction and its better then busing :) walking on the treadmill instead while reading some awesome blogs ;)

i got this friend on the other side of the world so isnt friends with anyone where i live and he doesnt know my family so i talked to him about my ED. i keep him updated because he is very supportive, his girlfriend is such great thinspo too because she is beautiful. sadly no pic b/c i cant go through her facebook account anymore.

i g2g for now but with the movie and dance tonight i dont think ill be eating anything so hopefullly tomorrow ill be under 110 so i can finally let either trainer guy or mr. funny man ask me to be offical :D

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHO TO PICK!!! I CANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Isla Lynn said...

I hardly ever do measurements. I think their the worst way to log progress, in my opinion. I, too, go by sizes and mainly, weight. I think you'll for sure be down below 110 tomorrow. By the way, you're stats are absolutely amazing. You're inspiring to me, hun.

Keep it up. But please, don't kill yourself biking if it's too cold! You'll end up miserable. Much love to you!

Almost.Skinny said...

Maybe you weren't taking them in the exact same places? All the best with the guys- go with your heart. xxx